The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
