She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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