Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Randomize
