I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize