Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
