I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Randomize