Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize
