considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
