i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
