Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
You were trust falling into bushes
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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