YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
stop calling my apartment porn island.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
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