After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
