Im at strip club and am horny
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Randomize
