no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize