whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
