At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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