we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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