I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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