I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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