apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
I think i got beer on your cat.
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