Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
The feeling are messing with the penis
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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