what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
