look no pants
I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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