god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
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