My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
