so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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