Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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