Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
