I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
this hospital has no fireball
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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