i can't believe i had my finger in that
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
i think i scared a bird with my dick
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
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