No awkward lesbian experiences without me
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
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