STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Randomize
