i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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