I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
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