i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
there is glitter all over my balls
Randomize