A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
