Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
