i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Randomize
