she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
