i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Randomize
