she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
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