You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Randomize