I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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