Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
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