1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Randomize
