Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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