If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
