This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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