So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
