So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize
