Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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