I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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