haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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