He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
