I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
