I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Randomize
