My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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