how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Randomize
