i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize
