I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
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